Last time we left off with a number of cliffhangers; Clarke was nabbed by a bountyhunter, Jasper is a crazy drunk hobo, trouble is a'brewin' on the Grounder front and Team Teens was caught in an ambush. Speaking of which, how long can a group of people wait in a hot smoldering car? Not that long. Time to take a looksee at what our ambushers are doing.
Waiting for an idiot to stick his head outside the armored vehicle, apparently. Are the Grounders ninjas or something? That is some serious shadow warrior shit right there. Well, until Monty gasps, 'MOM??' Yuuup, our first Da Fuk moment of this episode (and we're not even five minutes in!). Like, I don't mind the plot twist, as ridiculous as it was but it brings up some MAJOR plot holes we are going to explore for a moment. Ah hem.
So our Shadow Warrior Grounders are none other than one of the surviving groups of the Broken Ark, that somehow survived crash landing into earth (by aiming for a patch of snow, *SNORFFLELAUGH*). Allow me to apply some logic here. We're going to skate over the bizarre fact that somehow there is an armored vehicle that survived the crash, and that the lacking-spacious-room Ark in Space had enough...space (sorry) to have armored vehicles - I have two problems with this scenario. One: HOW? These cupcakes from space don't have the training to survive on earth and the crash would have destroyed or killed nearly everything on their side of the Ark. HOW did they become Shadow Warrior Grounders in the space of a few weeks??!?! Competent enough to ward off attacks from locals who have generations experience of survival and a murderous mentality???!?
That, just.. no, WHUT? NO! Too implausible for anyone to believe. Two: HOW MANY F(&*ING GROUNDERS HAVE AN ARMORED VEHICLE??!! Can you imagine those idiots cruising around in an assault vehicle? (actually I can, and the movie is called Mad Max but I digress) NO! Didn't they have an allergic reaction to all forms of technology? So our genius Vegetation (or whatever) Ex Arkers somehow failed to conclude that their own people are driving around in the car, and then decided to set an ambush, and then behave REALLY HOSTILE towards them until they went 'LOL JUST KIDDING we're actually your friends/family LOL'. yeah, no. Suspension of disbelief broken.
Crap, sorry - I promised myself to be more concise with these recaps but obviously stupid plot holes piss me off. Right. Anyhow.
Its just another lovely day in
Insanity The City of Light (TM) as the Original Overlord takes his pet HAL on a walk. I.. I'm really not understanding where this plot line is heading. I appreciate the weirdness (and science-fiction-y) aspect of it but... its just bizarre. I'm assuming there will be huge REVELATIONS at the end of this season which will tie into season four when HAL goes bad but for now its just.. whut.
We are seeing a repeating plot point in these first two episodes which spells out the major conflict for season three: The Ice Nation.
Winter War is coming, and I get the feeling the Arkers are going to struggle against it until they no longer have a choice and will join forces with the Grounders in a glorious battle-alliance.
Coming back to Clarke we see her being led hands tied together by her captor. Until she plays dead and then tries to drown the fucker in the river. It doesn't work but at least she's blonde again and I can go back to calling her Blondie.
Octavia and McHottyAbs - oh, who am I kidding. I couldn't care less about them and what they contribute to the plot.
Can I add there are WAY too many plot threads going on and its getting hard to concentrate on who is doing what, and what the hell is going on at any given time? Okay. Jasper is still a passive-aggressive little shit and the Teens sure like ripping Abby a new one; that's the second time they (the Teens) have spit back in her face when the good Doc was just trying to help them. Here we have the Grounder/Doc plot thread; where one of the Grounders (McAbberston's friend, I can't remember his name) has a lethal wound and only the Mt. Weather technology can save him. BUT going back to Mt. Weather can be seen as an aggressive move that might cause factions of the Grounders to rise up and start war all over again. Not that it matters because it seems like that's their natural state of being anyhow but for the sake of tension, let's go with that.
Team Teens is hot on the trail of Clarke and they save the Trader Gal just in the nick of time to realize CLARKE'S IN DANGER! Clarke's Bounty Hunter Buddy is turning out to be an interesting person. A Grounder with a Conscious?? Unheard of! He goes all Liam Neeson on the Ice Nation dudes who want Clarke.
I want to take a moment to talk about a couple of aspects of The 100 that are pretty impressive. (Yes, I'm talking about Liam's abs up there.) I find the reverse fan service fascinating in this show. All the main male actors have abs that can cut paper like a knife BUT the women, while beautiful, aren't sexified within an inch of their lives like the majority of entertainment out there. They don't have GARGANTUAN breasts barely contained by a strip of cloth, there are NOT lovingly panned shots of tits n' asses and I would even go so far as to say that this show is kinda meant for women. We have bi-sexual ladies, we have lesbian ladies, we have ladies in positions of power WHO REMAIN COMPETENT AND IN POSITIONS OF POWER. Unheard of! And kind of awesome.
The second point I wanted to make was the reversal of roles. Fridged Women are terribly common in straight-white-doood entertainment because MAN PAIN, right? Especially mothers - every time a mother makes an entrance either within the current story line or in a flashback I usually cringe because you KNOW they are going to be killed off because MAN PAIN and REVENGE. But not in The 100. Monty's MOM survives and is a badass. And also make a note that Monty's Dad died a hero saving children, NOT as a trope for MAN PAIN or to move along the (straight, white) male's story. Two things worth noting.
Just as Team Teens closes in on Clarke an inconvenient Ice Nation war party shows up between the two (why was there a war party there? How did no one HEAR this war party? How do you miss hundreds if not THOUSANDS of people marching across the distance?) so Team Teen hides in a cave and waits for the war party to go party elsewhere.
Weeell, Bel ain't having any of that. He steals the dead Ice Nations bounty hunters clothes and walks his way through the war party towards Clarke. I love the fact that Bel, inside a crowded tiny cave, took his clothes off, stripped the corpse, put the clothes on and then redressed the corpse in his own clothing without anybody noticing. Corpses being notoriously uncooperative when it comes to, you know, MOVING WITHOUT BEING SUPER AWKWARD BEING DEAD AND ALL.
And we bring back a favorite of The 100 - Cauterizing EVERYTHING like Liam Neeson is doing there. I can't even- whut. Not even remotely how the real world (and medicine) works so I won't even get into it.
Bel finds Blondie and Reunion! Knives! Fighting! Explosions! Not really but Bel sucks at this rescue business and gets himself stabbed.
Wanheda is delivered! Oh No! Is this the end of Blondie!? Are you ready for a plot twist?
BAM!!! The Steampunk Queen is back, with a gear glued on it. So whats-her-face Clarkes soul-sister/lover/betrayer wanted Clarke (I guess?) and kind of/sort of rescued her from being cannibalized by the Ice Nation. McHotty Neeson over there? Is a freaking prince who wants back into the Grounder club, and wrangled Clarke as an entrance fee.
Understandably Clarke goes a little apeshit since Ms. Steampunk left her high and dry last season and is dragged away screaming.