Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The 100 Season Two Episode Fourteen Recap

The 100 Season Two Episode Fourteen: Bodyguard of Lies

So as you may recall the Evil Overlord done hoofed it off into the badlands of crazy, taking a number of his flock with him. Half of them realized he was off his damn rocker and went back just in time to take people out of the rubble of the Summit. Evil Overlord and the Hyena aren't done wandering the desert, however, and he does have that mighty fancy stick.

Uh oh, one the Flock is exhibiting joyful behavior and bad jokes; you know what that means. YOU EXPLOOOOODE. Literally, this time. It appears they have wandered into a minefield. Everybody is showered with blood and regrets. I hate it when that happens.

Mt. Weather is plotting. WHERE ARE THE 44 43?

And Blondie and Queenie are plotting - rather Queenie is chilling and Blondie is fretting. Pretty fraught business, warlording.

Bel is continuing his Super Spy mojo but his luck had to run out at some point, because homeboy is CAUGHT. His cover is blown, and now a bunch of Mt. Weather security is after him. In case is wasn't obvious (it wasn't) Raven is a freaking awesome superbrain - look at all them complicated numbers! It isn't going to do anybody any good unless Bellamy can get himself to where they keep the poison/melting-your-face fog though.

Octavia certainly is embracing this Grounder role, isn't she? She's like... an adorable mini-Grounder who will cut your leg tendons and gnaw on your ankles. Isn't there like a height requirement to be a crazy leather wearing Mad Max warrior of the future?

Well, Octavia figures out that Clarke kind of, more or less, you know - let everybody die. And isn't happy about it, though I don't know what she's upset about - everybody who is a main-ish character survived.

Queenie ain't the Queenie of the Mad Max warriors for nothing though; she tells her hulking bodyguard to take out Octavia before she spills the beans and ruins everybody's Warrior Spirit mojo they got going on. Though, anybody with a working brain can figure out that Blondie and Queenie didn't just miraculously survive because they are the Chosen Ones. Wait, no, seeing how most of the cast doesn't have a working brain - yeah, no their secret is safe.

Blondie is starting to get how the Grounders work, and heads off an assassination attempt on wee little Octavia just in the nick in the time, and for the love of GOD PLEASE can someone get Clarke a bigger gun?? That little pea shooter is pathetic.

Meanwhile, being in a cult is hard...

But wait! Hark! What is light over yonder!? The city of lights!? FATE HAS BROUGHT US HERE!! What about the mines? FATE WILL GUIDE ME THROUGH THEM!! SCREW LOGIC!!

Soooo, not so much Faith so much as a really big stick to poke around for mines and the most awkward Hokey Pokey dance in recorded history...

Blondie confronts Queenie and is less than pleased with her slaughter-everyone-in-sight ways and hmmmm, something between those two... naahh, I must be imagining it for the last couple of episodes.

Bel is still rocking the espionage role as Team Fog figures out how to disarm the fog.

Oh, more Queenie and Blondie hashing out their differences and....wait.. WAIT. WAAIIIITTT!!!


QUEENIE AND BLONDIE GETTING IT ONNNN!! for like 3 seconds and Clarke is like, yea I just cut my boyfriends throat a couple episodes ago. Too soon, Queenie, too soon. Hey, maybe if they survive they can join up and be like, this terrible and powerful force that will RULE THE NEW ORDER OF THE WOOOOORLD!!!

That'd be awesome.

Oh, right. ATTACK!!! The fog is down, GET THEM GROUNDER/ARC ALLIANCE but..wait - no. Mt. Weather is being sneaky and turn the fog back on. Aaaand idiot guards open fire in a room full of ...flammable... hmmmm

GO BELLAMYYYY!!!! IGNITE THAT FOG! Ignoring the fact that if it were THAT explosive and dangerous, and the fact that entire room is the size of like, two football fields wouldn't the ENTIRE underground bunker, more or less, have gone up like the now-extinct Fourth of July?

Aaaand this is the 'getting it on' episode - Raven has Relations with, er, Science Guy and then immediately shuts down because Clarke cut her ex-boyfriends throat a couple of episodes ago. That was some awkward 30 second sex.

The Warriors march onward towards glory! Octavia is still angry about Blondie's management skills and tells her they're through after Mt. Weather is awash in a sea of blood. She falls back to fume while Scary-ass co-leader says, 'what's wrong with you?' See, here is something I can get aboard with: Scary-ass KNOWS her Leader knew about the bombing and accepts her decision, knowing it probably saved the war. That is why Queenie a good leader. Plus, it's not like Blondie MADE the bomb, that was the enemy's doing not hers. Oohhh, snap, Octavia just had a real-talk dropped on her. Maybe she shouldn't be so angry at Clarke for having to make a hard decision.

Anyhow, let's wrap up with our wandering crazy cultists, who have discovered the 'city of lights'? Is just a huge field of solar panels. Ooops. In frustration the Hyena hocks a rock at the glass and LO! An angel appeared before them a tiny drone pops up and Evil Overlord, desperate for any kind of 'sign', says FOLLOW IT!!! They hop into a boat and.... row further into nowhere.

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