Monday, February 23, 2015

The 100 Season Two Episode Twelve Recap

The 100 Season Two Episode Twelve: Rubicon

Things are heating up, and taking forever - seeing how I think the writer's are stretching out the conflict with Mt. Weather until the very last episode. And if this is like last season then there is only one more episode left and I'll be left with trying to figure out what to recap next. Ideas?

Anyway, we start off this episode with M.W. Guard RUNNING!! RUN, MISTER GUARD, RUUUNN - your oxygen is about to run out and you'll be killed by the radiation!! Ohhhh, so close but so far! Blondie is playing a mean game with him, but juuust as Mr. Guard starts to implode guess who arrives to save the day!

Why it's the Fop, WITHOUT A SPACESUIT!! What does this mean!? The 48's blood is workinggg!!! THE WORLD WILL BE OUUUURRSS, HAHAHAHAHA!!!

By now the Norman Rockwell assholes aren't even pretending to be cordial about wanting the 48's bone marrow, they just corral them like guinea pigs and go THAT ONE, GIVE ME THAT ONE. They don't even bother TRYING to save them - now they are killing the 48 outright.

Blondie is fretting, Bellamy hasn't checked in yet, and she has her own pet homicidal Grounder to follow her like a shadow and growl when Idiot Overlord lays a hand on her. Doc Mama and Blondie are still butting heads, as Doc Mama refuses to let her baby grow up and realize that Blondie is heading towards the path of bloodthirsty tyrant warlord.

Doc Mama and Idiot Overlord muse on how fast kids grow up these days when Doc Mama produces the Dear John letter the previous Evil Overlord left. He adds, 'it's cool, I'm totes coming back to save you once my cult of crazies have found the promise land'. Ooookay.

Speaking of our Evil Overlord...

Like something straight out of the bible the cult of crazies are wandering the desert of the 'dead zone' (was that what it was called? I can't even remember) when they happen upon a friendly native who goes MY CART!! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY CART!!! Aw, a new crazy to add to the cult. 'If you pull MY CART I will take you to the City of Lights'. Sounds legit.

This is Bel in an air duct, making enough noise to wake the dead but somehow NOBODY hears him thumping around in there like a drunken circus bear. This is Clarke and Raven listening through an earpiece in Bel's head to everything that's going on. What is that noise? Why an electric drill, ripping out the bone marrow of some poor hapless DEAD 48 teen. Let's spy on the evil league of evil scientists.

Our Mt. Weather Guard has survived. WOW, IT SURE WAS GREAT OF YOU TO SAVE ME, SIR. Ho ho ho, not a problem my good man. Now what was it those silly Grounder people told you? Never mind! It doesn't matter because I'M GOING TO NUKE THEIR ASSES OFF, BECAUSE THEY ARE CONVENIENTLY HAVING A GROUNDER LEADER SECRET MEETING THAT ISN'T SO SECRET. Did you get that Bellamy/Blondie?

Blondie to the rescue! Even as she lies to Bel about his sister being at the meeting. Blondie is falling down a deep dark rabbit hole of deceit and Intrigue that is going to bite her on the ass.

The crazy cart lady makes a friend in the Hyena as they pull her cart. Also, she has flipper hands, which is why she wears mittens in the desert.

Bellamy is totally rocking his role as undercover agent in this episode. He gets major intel on the bombing and now he is in the guard duty that is hauling away the 48. He gets to Jasper, pins him against a wall and goes, 'Japser, it's me! Here take this gun and get ready to make a break for it!'

THEN he gets into the Old Prez's suite for some more Intrigue. Bellamy you rock.

Blondie makes it to the Leader Summit and....rescues...no one?

Uh, hm. She goes, 'HA HA EVERYTHING IS FINE, CARRY ON EVERYONE, NOTHING SUSPICIOUS HERE' then runs straight to Queenie screaming THE SKY IS FALLING, THE SKY IS FALLING!!

And our leaders LEAP TO THE RES- do nothing as Queenie says RUN AWAAAYY, RUN AWAAYYY!!!

I guess the thought process is; if they alert the camp (with all the major leaders and factions in the area, so KIND OF important people that could win the war) Mt. Weather will realize they have a mole and will sniff Bellamy out, losing the war in the process? Although... well, anyway.

So Queenie is all for letting everybody die. AND CLARKE GOES ALONG WITH IT.

Octavia conveniently wanders off into the forest... and finds Lincoln. But not Zombie-Lincoln, a whiny-ass Lincoln who thinks Bellamy has been betrayed by him, when Bel ended up right where he needed to be so everything is fine. Octavia smacks Lincoln, which seems to jar him out of chemical dependency and self-loathing.

The Fop is getting ready to bomb the shit out of the summit.

Blondie sees Doc Mama enter the camp and goes OH HELL NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, RUN AWAAAYYY!!!

Then BOOM. The camp gets exploded.

We have a MAJOR falling out between Doc Mama and Blondie. We're going to ignore the fact that Doc Mama shoved her own husband out an air-lock for the moment and focus on Blondie not warning everyone. This is actually a pretty sticky situation - what would have happened if she HAD warned them and gave away Bel's presence? It's not a guarantee that he would have been found, and it IS his role to free the 48 AND the Grounders and cause general chaos inside Mt. Weather, which would have pretty much given away his presence anyhow. I think he would have been fine, even if he had been found out.

Because, thinking logically, letting your major players in a war die, effectively ENDS the war. You take out the ring-leaders the rabble have no one to rally behind. So it was actually pretty fucking stupid NOT to get at least the leaders out of harm's way.

Well, speaking of chaos - Jasper is rallying the er, 42? for a Last Stand against the superbly evil lady scientist and the guards of Mt. Weather. And fails miserably and makes himself a target (why didn't he shoot the lady doctor? I have NEVER wanted to kick someone's ass so much, as I wanted to kick her ass) ALL IS LOST - except Bel comes through via the help of Old Prez by letting a breach happen, letting in radiated outside air.

The guards melt, and evil lady doctor tries to crawl away into an elevator. OH NO YOU DON'T. Japser and Co. pull a Children of the Corn moment and watch her self-combust. I'm MEEELTING, MEELLLTTINNNGG, WHAT A WORLD WHAT A WORLD. Most satisfying.

Remember Cart Lady and her Cart that she's having Evil Overlord and Co. cart through a vast desert for REASONS? It's a trap. Duh. Her buddy on the horse has a freaking RPG (WHERE do you get that kind of tech. SERIOUSLY!?!) and says PUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN ON THE CART, SUCKERS!!

Our Crazy Cultists now have nothing, not even water. What to do. LET'S WANDER FURTHER INTO THE DESERT TOWARDS CERTAIN DEATH. FAITH WILL GIVE US SHELTER AND WATER!! They are SO going to die.

Fop son confronts the old Prez and whines at him, while the Old Prez says, YOU SUCK. SERIOUSLY, YOU SUCK.

And now we see the aftermath of the bombing which is kinda like the apocalypse all over again. Well, Octavia and Lincoln are alive, and I guess that's all that matters.

2 comments:

  1. So they're exposed to radiation for like a minute and they melt? I don't think radiation melts people! And if it were strong enough to kill instantly I don't think the other people could just be walkin' around in it. It's physics, it messes up the molecules in your cels, I don't think people could evolve to have cels that are ok with serious radiation at all much less in only 100 years.

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  2. Shhhhh, stop being logical - you're ruining the dramatic tension!!

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