Monday, May 5, 2014

The 100 Episode Seven Review

Previously on The Dead Just Keep on Getting Deader

The world ended and now the fate of humanity is in the hands of teenagers. The recently landed on Earth-ers had a rather up close and personal look at local wildlife that ended with a few more lives being lost (whoever the Grounders are they seem fond of harpooning people for no apparent reason). Octavia gets a new boyfriend, there was much dashing about, Finn was stabbed by said new boyfriend and a storm is coming.

Episode Seven: Contents Under Pressure

They weren’t kidding about that storm; it’s tearing apart the camp as the teens take shelter in the drop ship. Finn remains stabbed and Raven is desperately trying to contact the Mother Ship. It’s going to be a rough night.

Back in Space Doctor Mama is being stripped of her Counseling privileges even as she protests that they SAW the rockets launch from earth, therefore she was correct that the Teens are alive!

Smug Evil Overlord in Training is smug as he denounces any survivors of the Earth Expedition.

Evil Overlord continues to stick his head up his ass and says, ‘Well, that could have been anything’ when from over the intercoms we hear…static? What was that?! Could it be!?

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt with the Council; even with the obvious fact that interference and choppy voices over the radio frequency means either it’s possessed or someone’s trying to get a hold of them they still look around at each other like lobotomized lemmings unable to figure out what it all means.

Raven has finally made it through on the radio, too late to save the hundreds that died but maybe in time to patch Blondie through to a real doctor to save Finn. But hark! There is interference from the storm, which just isn’t a storm as the ship’s indicators point out – it’s a freaking hurricane bearing down right on the Teens (which brings up another question of WHERE in Virginia are they? Are they on the coast? Somehow I think that there are some gaping plot holes regarding their exact location and this ‘new earth’ that is apparently tropical.)

We’re just going to ignore the fact that a hurricane, an actual hurricane not T.V. drama hurricane, would rip their little camp into wooden splinters and send their drop ship shelter far, far away somewhere possibly over the rainbow.

There is a flurry of activity as Blondie prepares for surgery, Bellamy returns with Silent Dude in chains and everybody bunkers down for a wild night. Blondie wants to hold off on torturing Silent Dude but Bellamy is enthusiastic (does Silent Dude speak, or even understand English? Methinks Bellamy torturing someone for information will be an exercise in futility)

Back in Space everybody is pissed off. Understandably so; it appears the council ‘culled’ over three hundred people for nothing. If they had waited a day or two they would have had proof that the Earth is livable (sort of, you know that pesky Grounder problem may pose a threat) and it looks like a riot is in the works.

We have a new character! It’s the Previous Chancellor who for all intents and purposes could be Doctor Mama’s twin or doppelganger they look so much alike. Looks like another drop of intrigue has been added to the Plotting in Space stew because even though she comes off as all sympathetic and ‘I’m here to be the voice of the people’ something tells me she be plotting.

Back on Earth Finn wakes up just in time to be conscious as Blondie pulls the knife out.

‘Finn don’t move as I slowly pull an eight in knife out of your chest!’

Yeah, right. NOW would be the time for some screaming. This is a dramatic moment as Raven tries to hold Finn still, Blondie pulls and the ship, at the worst possible moment, gives a mighty lurch – freeing the knife and miraculously not causing more trauma to Finn’s chest.

See, NOW cauterizing would be a good idea but no, somehow Blondie has found a convenient needle and thread to sew the wound shut (and what? Um, wouldn’t a knife wound mean that something inside his chest got a little stabbed and would need surgery?)

Meanwhile during Torture 101 Bellamy roots through Silent Dudes pack of stuff to find a convenient picture diary and an assortment of bottles with some kind of herbs in them. It’s an interesting collection of sketches that shows the different places he’s been, things he’s seen aaaaaand the mad, mad crush he has on Octavia as he has been stalking her for quite some time. You can imagine how happy Bellamy is about that.

Blondie is not happy with torturing people. Neither is Octavia. Bellamy argues they need ‘intel’ on the enemy and that ‘we are at war’ which just…dude, what? Just…no, so much no Bellamy. Survival yes, but there is so much that you don’t know you can’t call it war. I don’t even think Silent Dude is part of the Grounders but Bellamy is too gung ho with testosterone to apparently think about that.

Uh oh, Finn is seizing when all should have been well. The knife was poisoned! Blondie goes from caring doctor to vengeful woman in no time and approves the torture of Silent Dude to get the antidote out of him.

When Teens Torture isn’t particularly well thought out, organized or effective. Silent Dude not only is chiseled like a Michelangelo sculpture but is hardcore stoic, barely even grunting as Bellamy stabs a makeshift knife through his hand.

Of course the obvious solution to anybody with a thinking brain would be to cut Silent Dude with his own knife; therefore making him pick out the right bottle for the antidote but that’s not dramatic enough so Octavia does it instead; tired of people wailing on her rescuer.

In perverse way it’s almost sweet; Silent Dude relents and points toward the correct bottle therefore saving Finn’s life (and Octavia’s, I suppose).

Back in Space turmoil continues and Instigators scream for blood and the Evil Overlord tries to calm everybody down. Not working. So he pulls the I LOST MY SON card to show that he, too, is suffering which…pulls everybody together.

Back on Earth Finn will (again) survive and Blondie has a breakdown. She still loves Finn but can’t have him and if that weren’t bad enough Mama Doctor is on the radio spouting, ‘I’m so proud of you!’ to which Blondie is all, ‘Did you kill Daddy?’

Ouch. Seriously bad night for Blondie. Doctor Mama doesn’t deny it but instead tries to justify it in to which Blondie is all, ‘Blondie, OUT’ and destroys the radio. Might have been a little dramatic considering how fucking hard it was to get the radio to work to begin with.

This is turning into the episode where everybody cries. The Evil Overlord in Training is having feelings, surprisingly. He is regretting his actions and thought that he was acting in the best interest by killing three hundred people.

Octavia and Silent Dude have a moment as she washes his recently stabbed hand and apologizes for her shitty comrades behavior and surprise, surprise Silent Dude is no longer silent and murmurs ‘thank you’.

Back in Space the next step towards humanity’s survival is revealed; in the advent that earth is proved survivable Project Exodus shall be put forth to repopulate the planet, except, our forbearers were crappy planners because like the Titanic only a few hundred drop ships were created when there are over two thousand people aboard.

Whoops.

(Does this mean that out of the billions and billions of people on Earth only two thousand survived? How do you NOT prepare to go to space and how to you equally not prepare to come back? Makes me glad I don’t live in a world where those who are in charge have the survival instincts of a suicidal lemming)

1 comment:

  1. Mildly pleased to have called the reason for one of the ways it's nonsensical to space people.

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