Monday, April 28, 2014

The 100 Episode Six Review

Previously on Will Any Cast Members Be Left Alive At the End of the Show?

The world ended and now the fate of humanity is in the hands of teenagers. The death toll rises and the stakes are high; the Will They Won’t They drama-rama 100 had been building for five episodes ended in Won’t. That’s a few hundred people dead and they aren’t out of the woods yet.

Episode Six: His Sisters Keeper

So we ended the previous episode on a rather mass dead-ed note with the slightest of glimmers of hope that even though the Council killed hundreds of people, the rockets that were launched from earth were (against all expectations and realism) seen from the Mother Ship. We start this episode with a horrifying look at Pregnancy in Space. Yeah. Don’t do it.

Seriously. It’s another flashback, this time with a window into Bellamy and Octavia’s past the day Octavia was born illicitly.

Baby Bellamy is being traumatized by the miracle of birth as his mother hunches mostly naked on the floor and grits through her teeth, ‘tell Mama what happens if you ask for help! SAY IT!’

‘You get floated!’

I’m beginning to understand why Bellamy is so fucked up. For that matter how are you supposed to hide a baby in a glorified tin can in space? ‘Where did you get that?’ ‘Oh, this? I found this between the seat cushions the other day.’

Seriously, for that matter how do you hide a pregnancy when everybody has the breathing room of a hamster cage? Well, anyway Octavia is eventually born and Bellamy imprints on her like a baby stork and decides to name her after one of the great emperors sisters, Octavia. We end the flashback with baby Bellamy uttering the unfortunate words,

‘I’ll never let anything happen to you, I promise’

Yeah, we all know how that ends. It’s like poking Fate’s eye with a stick when you end a huge obligation with, ‘I promise.’

In the Present, Bellamy isn’t doing so good on his word; Octavia wakes up in a hole somewhere (or should I say re-wakes up? Because the last we saw of her she WAS awake and staring at the dude looming over her. Inconsistent, script writers, inconsistent.) with Silent Dude still looming but with the addition of holding a red hot poker.

At the camp, Bellamy is beating the war drums and gathering a rescue party to find the mislaid Octavia. Finn and Raven exchange smooches and domestic bliss and Blondie does NOT want to talk about what happened.

‘But baby, I love you too!’

I’m starting to dislike Finn more and more with each passing episode.

It’s a good thing everybody is awake because the night sky is suddenly filled with hundreds of flashing…stars? Meteors?

Oh how pretty! Except, NOT because as Blondie points out with a horrified look on her face, those flashing lights are the bodies being thrown back to earth for burial (which, wait, what? How? WHAT?! How does that even…. so the Mother Ship happens to have hundreds of space worthy coffins to fling back to earth? They don’t like, recycle, the bodies to grow crops or something? How many space coffins are on board? And – send back to earth for burial? Like at high speed ending in one big splatted mess against the soil? How long have they been doing this? HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK??)

So the camp realizes that they didn’t make it, they didn’t see their rockets and as a result hundreds of people have been killed. Bummer, says Bellamy, but I don’t care because My Sister. On the other hand the Will They Won’t They hasn’t ended yet as we continue the plot of Nobody Knows What the Other is Doing on Earth and in Space. (….if they have space coffins why the FUCK don’t they just put a bunch of radios in separate pods and just fling that in the teens general direction?)

De je vu with Octavia all over again as she wakes up AGAIN in the cave/hole/underground whatever she’s been taken to.

She winces at pokes at her leg, which had a terrible gash in it. Turns out the red hot poker was to cauterize the wound. (WHAT is with this show and cauterizing wounds that don’t need to be cauterized!? Cauterizing a wound is an absolute Last Resort, only used when life and death is in the balance and the person is dying anyway. Assuming Silent Dude is a human born and raised on earth, following generations of survivors being born and raised on earth is it too farfetched to believe that ONE of them has some sort of basic understanding of medicine?!? That someone SOMEWHERE has some kind of needle and thread?! Is this how all medical emergencies are treated – ‘Whoops, I sprained my ankle GET THE WHITE HOT POKER OUT’!?)

Okay, okay the search party is on the trail and Octavia scuttles through abandoned tunnels of what I’m going to assume were water ducts, or the sewer (and…wait, hold on – didn’t she have a huge gash on her leg? And now she crawling around on her belly, dragging her injured leg through God knows what? Such is the miracle of cauterizing – cures all ills. I’ll have to remember that next time I get a cold.)

Bellamy and the Gang stumble across the Grounders Graveyard which also may be what happened to all the bodies flung to earth over the years by the Mother Ship. That may be a plausible explanation as to why the Grounders are homicidal and pissed off all the time – raining corpses from space landing on their camp grounds, who WOULDN’T be angry?

Time for another flash back to illicit family times of Bellamy and Octavia. So Octavia has never left the ten by ten room they all share, and most of the time she’s crammed into a tiny space underneath the floor. And she’s not batshit crazy, how? She’s never left this room, never seen other people, never been socialized and has basically been raised in a big black hole– these are all ingredients for crazy times, not just a Tragic Backstory. Girl should be painting the wall with her own blood at this point.

The B & O Mama is super good with kids; she ingrains into them FEEEAAARRR, FEAR IS THE ENEMY, FEEL NO FEEEAARRR. And we all know what happens when we repress things right? How the hell Octavia’s head doesn’t just start spinning is beyond me.

Uh oh, back in the present Earth girlfriend Blondie and Space girlfriend Raven are talking as Finn is out helping with tracking Octavia. You can see where this is heading right? Bitch fight time or Back Away From My Man. Good to know stereotypes survived the fallout.

Back on the Hunt for Octavia the Gang are wandering aimlessly through the woods. From the trees! It’s Dude with a Bungee Cord.

Now you see him.

Now you don’t.

And now he’s dead.

Grounders! Grounders from the trees! Grounders from the ground! Run, Gang, run! Time for some more death and destruction and seriously, everybody is gonna die.

That can’t be healthy.

Octavia enters the fray!

But is held back by Silent Dude as another teen gets skewered!

Octavia is kidnapped again by Dude Who Does Not Talk. Is he lonely? Is he friendly? Is he merely accessorizing his man cave?

This seems like a perfectly appropriate time for a flashback. Teen Octavia and Young Adult Bellamy are being adorable together; Bellamy is a caring, considerate older brother and Octavia is fragile and hungry for the world outside the metal door of their home.

So Bellamy, now a junior in-training guard, comes up with a plan to allow Octavia one night of fun; there is a masked party happening that very evening and Octavia is going! Nothing can go wrong with that right?

WRONG. Octavia is de-masked and everybody is floated. Well, okay – the mother is floated, Octavia is signed up for the Earth Expedition and Bellamy commits murder to follow after her. Good times.

In the Present Octavia is back in the hole, and this time she’s chained to a wall. Silent Dude must really want a pet. Maybe he should start with the two headed deer instead of Octavia.

In the forest Bellamy and what’s left of the Gang is scrambling around like chickens without heads and are about to experience Death by Grounder when the horn sounds. The pee fog is coming back? Nope, Silent Dude sounded the horn to save their lives, though they may not yet realize it.

Blondie and Raven have their spat over Finn, Raven tries to fix the radio with a Tonka toy and cheap plot tension is cheap.

Bellamy finally finds the hole and rescues Octavia after she bashes Silent Dude over the head and keeps Bellamy from killing him because, you know, he DID sort of save them even if he dragged Octavia back and chained her to a wall.

Silent Dude wakes up and stabs Finn and falls back asleep when he’s knocked on the head again.

Bellamy princess carries Finn back to the camp and the clock is ticking! Blondie can’t save Finn without instruction from a real doctor – her mother. Raven! Get on it!

And we end the episode with a good ol’ sibling fall out; Octavia and Bellamy take out each other’s fear, dismay and turmoil on each other. Each one does their best to one-up the other with rending insults with Bellamy winning the last word with, ‘YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORN, YOU KILLED OUR MOTHER’

Yeaaaah, some things should never be said, especially during a fight and THAT is one of them. Octavia makes a run for the door and Bel is all like, ‘WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?’

Seriously, Bellamy – I think you are a decent character at heart but fuck me, you are dumb.

He slams the homemade gate shut with a look at ominous looking clouds on the horizon.

“A storm is coming.”


  1. Wait, if satellite is so low that bodies fall down, satellite also fall down. Also, is there enough mass in a body to glow? Very small meteorites glow, but they're stone so I expect they'd take longer to burn up then a human. Also, humans burn up in re-entry but their skeletons fall down intact?

    This show makes Wonderland seem all sense-making and not melodramatic by comparison!

  2. In the book B&O's mother gets injured (forgotten how) and is in need of medical attention. B, having been taught all his life that 1) you must protect your sister and 2) "you can have a sister or a mother, not both" goes to comfort sis and convinces himself mom is beyond help. Once mom is dead there's no extra person anymore so it's all good, O can join society!

    Props to the writer for the horror. =)

  3. Well, they get credit for creativity. The series is silly but entertaining which is, I guess, all you can ask for in entertainment.

  4. THIRD, why are they spacing the excess people rather than sending them down to earth? Potential death by radiation is better than certain death by vacuum. So unless this is leading up to the revelation that they only ever had ships to send a few people down safely and were planning on letting the rest die in space anyway this is just pointless tragedy.