Monday, April 14, 2014

The 100 Episode Four Review

Previously on Child Sociopaths

The world ended and now the fate of humanity is in the hands of teenagers. The truth of the fate of Blondie’s father was revealed. Again. This time in an episode long flashback which concluded that which we already know: HE’S DEAD FOR CONSPIRACY, WE GET IT ALREADY. We meet Charlotte, our charming pint sized murderess, Jasper lives, Wells dies and then there was pee fog.

Episode four: Murphy’s Law

We open this episode solidifying the cold hard fact that yes, indeed, Wells is dead. This came as something of a shock to me because usually when YA throws a love triangle at you the characters normally live long enough for a few godawful sticky romantic scenes and the good ol’ ‘fight for her hand!’ bullshit but no, he’s dead as a dodo.

Charlotte, being the smart sneaky little sociopath she is, wisely refrains from comment and allows the camp to assume that the ‘Grounders’ got themselves another victim asides from Jasper.

This isn’t going to be a good episode for Blondie, let me warn you now. We spend a few moments remembering Wells and the awesome person he was and- PENCIL!

What were we doing? Oh yea – Blondie is having a lot of turmoil. Her BFF is dead, she’s stuck in the jungle with a group of criminal teenagers that are reenacting the whole dog eat dog metaphor AND her mother killed her father. What’s a girl to do? Why exact vengeance the only way she can; she takes off the bracelet, letting her mother assume she’s dead.

At least it’s going to good use; Engineering kid thinks he can get into contact with the mother ship through Blondie’s bracelet by nightfall. If they aren’t all dead by then.

The camp is hard at work erecting a barricade against the ‘Grounders’ that haven’t had a cameo since that second episode and whose role in this plot still remains unclear. Jasper and the newly reformed Octavia are having a Moment (damn, that girl goes through the boys fast, doesn’t she) trying to coax Jasper out into the open, if he would just stop clinging to the trees long enough.

Surely the fresh air and beautiful scenery will banish the terrors that lurk in his heart – whoops, nope! Jasper haplessly trips over a root and falls face first into the remains of Wells fingers that were hacked off the night before when Charlotte got her Psycho scene on.

Charlotte left the knife that she used to cut his throat open which bears the initials J.M. – the very name of Bellamy’s Hyena who is currently harassing the workers.

What to do, what to do? Confront the campers and scream for vengeance or let the campers believe the Grounders are out to get them and unify under fear? Tough call, both have their merits but Blondie has Turmoil so she chooses the messier route and goes after the Hyena like a piranha on a blood smeared crippled cow.

Back in Space, Raven and Doctor Mama are continuing with the Intrigue as Raven works on fixing a ship and Mama Doctor goes, ‘Nope, nothing strange going on here, nothing at all!’ with the Council who I assume are still all for mass murdering people to conserve oxygen. Better get that ship fixed fast.

Earth Below the justice system of a bunch of criminal kiddies is about exactly what you would expect; lots of screaming, kicking, blood and a brawl that would put Jerry Springer to shame. Hyena is in deep shit now, everybody thinks he killed Wells because he tried to knife him in a previous episode AND he threatened to kill Jasper so it isn’t looking good for him.

Aaaaand – riot.

Hoooo boy, they’re going to string him up like a piñata if someone (Bellamy!) doesn’t step forward and try to be the voice of reason. Bellamy is up, he’s been the unvoiced leader since the first episode, he knows they won’t survive with a system of anarchy in place – aaaand NOPE. He kicks the crate out from under Hyena and down he goes.

You would think that it would snap his neck but no, he’s left to throttle slowly while the camper monkey’s scream around him, hungry for blood (or at least asphyxiation). Rock on, Bellamy, rock on with your bad self blaming your shitty leadering skills on Blondie.

Finn is horrified and shock! Even Charlotte is disgusted by the behavior of the campers and screams, “IT WAS ME, I KILLED WELLS!”

Blondie cuts down the Hyena and apparently nobody questions the fact that a sixty pound little girl can kill a (mostly) fully grown man because the poo-throwing monkeys go from ‘KILL HIM!!’ to “GET THE GIRL!!’ in a New York second.

Time to run.

Blondie and Finn grab the mini-murderer and head for the hills, or rather, the thickly treed forest while Bellamy goes, ‘Derp, I was just giving the people what they wanted’

Hyena is on the rampage and he has TORCHES if not pitchforks.

Blondie still has Turmoil because she really liked Charlotte but Wells was her BFF and WTF, why is Finn defending the child murderer? It still creeps the hell out of me that this little child had no qualms slitting a man’s throat while simultaneously hacking off body parts.

Well, it disturbs Blondie as well, at any rate.

Finn’s wandering in the woods came to some fruition; he’s found an underground bunker for them to hide in while the mob above them wears themselves out. (Seriously, where did they get torches?)

Back in Space, the ship is ready to launch except for one last part; a pressure regulator. More intrigue, time is running out and it isn’t looking so good for Doctor Mama.

Earth Below we have a cliffhanger, literally; Charlotte did the runner on Blondie and Finn while they slept and went looking for the mob to …atone for her sins? Get herself killed? Well anyway, they find her, Bellamy finds her and Blondie and Finn find her all at the edge of a convenient cliff. You can see what’s coming right?

The rage of the Hyena is enough to apparently murder a small child and he isn’t backing off, or listening to reason. Everybody is arguing and angry and Charlotte never wanted any of this! So she jumps.

I should seriously start keeping track of the death count in this series.

Bellamy is very upset that his mini murderer protégé did a Thelma and Louise and proceeds to beat the ever loving shit out of the Hyena. Blondie’s voice of reason prevails and they banish him which is basically the same thing as killing him because how the hell is he going to survive out there (considering how many broken bones he may have)? Hyena’s bro-buddie’s are all ‘Nope, OUT’ and everybody goes home and takes their torches with them.

Engineer kid has finally got the bracelet to a point where he thinks they communicate with the mother ship and…aaaaand nope. Instead he shorts out the remaining bracelets ‘killing’ everybody and allowing the fuckwit senseless plot to continue as Back in Space they assume they’re all dead so there’s no point in going down because there is simply no other explanation for the bracelets shorting out other than radiation.

Well, everybody is dead so let’s do what anybody would do: HAVE SEX.

Engineer kid approves.

Back in Space, time has run out for Doctor Mama and Raven because the Council is COMING. Doctor Mama throws herself on that grenade to buy Raven time to get the ship started and yup, you guessed it, it’s another Teen Prevails while Adults Die moment as we end the episode with Doctor Mama facing the ironic fate of that of her late floated husband and Raven rockets down to earth.

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